Dating & Relationships

Send me that love, Part 2

January 29, 2017

draw-by-kayla — portrait by Kayla, my best friend

So I pledged to explain the title on part 1. Well continuing with precedent, it is a Bob Marley song and i thought it best fitted the blog because of my mentality when it comes to love. I think due to past experiences, I try to guard my heart from heartbreak. For example, I prefer to enter relationships with people who I know that I will enjoy their company, who will treat me right, but where it is assured that the relationship will have to end. Like for example, earlier this summer, this guy-Paul- and I were really hitting it off-he enjoyed talking- him more than I. And although I knew this guy wasn’t the one, I liked the idea of a relationship with him because its future was predicted due to the fact that he would be leaving for college in September. Either way, things didn’t work out but history has repeated itself with Martin.

What appeals to me about this guy is that he’s good boyfriend material and he would be indispensable in senior year with all these senior dances that we have to go to with a date. But the main thing is that I know it will end and probably how it will end since he plans to go to Germany for college and me to Boston. So personally, it seems to me that I like relationships that have a guarantee and that are predictable because there is less chance for heartbreak. I don’t like to be in a relationship with a guy i truly and fully like, where I am imagine him as the one, because I would want the relationship to last and if it didn’t, I would be heartbroken. I am thinking I will stop this cycle in college because well heartbreak is a part of college and life and sooner or later we must experience it. Also, it would be easier to rebound from a breakup un college than in high school because there are eligible guys everywhere in college as opposed to the 15 guys I see everyday for my IB (international baccalaureate) school program out of the 2500 ppl that go to my school. And #2 I don’t want the distractions that are accompanied by heartbreak during this year when I have to get my test scores right so that I can get into the colleges i want to go to. However, when I imagine my life some 10 years from now I imagine having a husband that loves me as much as I love him. And so I hope that God “sends me that love” someday, maybe not now, if he hasn’t already. So next post, I will talk about what happened between me and martin on our date.

“Send me that love” part 1

January 22, 2017

screen-shot-2017-01-07-at-12-52-26-pm — Museum of Fine Arts Boston- Japanese flower mobile

-originally written on July 15, 2010

So this week has been a crazy week due to my mad volunteering that is required for me to get a diploma. I have been volunteering at an art museum and like science exhibit place working with the children in their summer camps. So I never met any good looking guys at either of them and i assumed it was because of the fact that all hot guys are lazy, vain, and wouldn’t think of helping others. But I was wrong. There’s this new guy-lets call him Martin- and well he might not be like a male runway model but he’s nice looking. Just so you know, he’s from Germany which means Caucasian, white etc.- I guess i’ll touch on this subject later. Well anyway, the first day he was there he was just looking at some art and I pointed to the one next to it and told him my friend did that-(the person whom i consider my best american friend is a beast artist).

Anyway, the second day he was assigned to the same classroom at me and I didn’t think much of him. But throughout the day he would like give me these looks-maybe flirty-not overly flirty since a room full of kids and a teacher isn’t the best flirting setting. On that day I had commented that I am from Kenya and he didn’t say anything which I thought was weird b/c when I tell people where I am from, I end up being bombarded with questions.So day #2- Wednesday, some kid was drawing like the emblem of an american football team and the teacher commented that he wasn’t that into football which led Martin to say me neither. This shocked me b/c at the time I assumed this is a white guy from the South and these Southern guys love their american football. And so I, surprised, said “really, why is that?”, Martin responds- “I just didn’t grow up with it”, me-“oh, so where did u grow up?”, Martin- “Germany”, me-” wow! thats cool, i didn’t grow up with football either in Kenya, i grew up with the other kind of football” which led to him stating that he wasn’t really into either football and that he ran cross country (which I am going to do this year).

So i guess we bonded on those similarities of being foreigners and runners, maybe more him than me. But that’s normal for me since when it comes to guys, I am always the one is less emotionally invested. Anyway, I was supposed to leave early at 4:45 to go to cross country practice but I guess our conversation was going so well I decided to just be late. On our way out, he asked me if I was working the next day and so I thought that was a big hint that he definitely liked me since if he didn’t, why would he care.

Today we ended up talking a lot more about our college plans, favorite subjects, our countries’ weathers and seasons. His affinity for waking up early in the morning mine for sleeping in late. But overall I think our relations at this point has been characterized by this comfortable silence – because silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing, to me it means u’re comfortable enough with a person that you don’t have to say anything to each other to enjoy each other’s presence- and a lot of SMILES at each other. But honestly as far as I am concerned he doesn’t have the physical characteristics that i like-tall. Although, he does have these beautiful green ways that I just want to swim in. But character wise i think he might be what i am looking for-nice, caring, responsible etc. However, his humor is definitely not on point, he may just be trying too hard at his own expense but at least he’s trying.

Tomorrow is Friday, so the last day to volunteer this week, and I am interested to see what happens, what I am wondering is- why doesn’t he just ask for my number. Because, although on his 1st day he said he was only volunteering this week, he now says he will be there next week-maybe his mind was changed by a special someone? But anyway if he’s going to set something up, he needs to hurry up and do it.

On “send me that love” part 2 i will explain the title-its deeper than it seems and of course, I’ll update you on what happened.

“No Woman no Cry”

January 16, 2017

4th grade in Carbondale

3rd grade in Kenya

So I am challenging myself to get inspiration for blog titles from Bob Marley songs, hence the “no woman no cry”. I think this song is very relatable as winter is so-called cuffing season where we all seek to find a mate to cuddle with “by the fire light drinking corn meal porridge.” I had the pleasure (sarcasm) of experiencing my first American winter when my family landed in windy and cold Carbondale, IL from the paradise that is Kenya. Carbondalae was a barren ice land. No jobs, nothing to do. And to top it all off, school didn’t go so well for me because I failed to make friends due to the fact that I was a foreigner and people didn’t like that. For example, One time I remember crying because we were supposed to be writing in “cursive” in class and since I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing. The kid told the teacher “she doesn’t know cursive, she’s from Africa!” My 10 year old self had never experienced such embarrassment in her life.

I only had one true friend, Kylie, who wasn’t very friendly as she was a loner and instead of playing with me, she would go play by herself. But then some teachers, I guess out of pity, introduced me to these girls who I guess were forced to talk and play with me. So obviously I didn’t like it there, after being dethroned from the queen bee status that I held in Kenya among my clique and being turned into an outcast. However, there was one good thing about Carbondale: Charlie.

Charlie was in 5tth grade and I was in 4th grade. I know Charlie isn’t a cool sounding name but he was the most popular guy in school. Gorgeous. charismatic. charming. and all the girls were in love with him. He lived like 1 house away from mine and so we got off the same bus stop. I guess he was just a friendly guy or he was attracted to the gold threads and cowrie shells in my hair like most people. Anyway, he would try to talk to me about the cars passing by: Hummers, Mustangs which I knew nothing about coming from Kenya where every foreign car is a Toyota. So i just never said anything or nodded my head and ran home to write on my hand: Mercy Loves Chuck. He would play American football with his friends and I would climb the tree in my backwards to watch while pretending to look at the street. He would play with my brother and watch the cars on the streets go by together( maybe the reason why my brother is so fascinated with cars) until he was almost like a second brother to my little brother, Juma. So it went on like this for a year until the last week before we moved to Alabama where I was jumping rope with his little sister(btw i am a mean jump roper) when he jumped in the rope and started jumping behind me. I could feel him breathing on my neck and I just got so nervous and tripped on the rope- i didn’t fall btw. So I ran back in the house out of shame. Anyway, so during the last day of Carbondale, his sister kept hinting that Chuck liked me but obviously I was a shy girl and couldn’t act on it #1 because my parents would kill me and #2 b/c of the whole Kenyan accent thing.

Anyway, so i left Carbondale without ever saying goodbye to him and when during the first year in Alabama, I would kiss his picture from the yearbook at our elementary school. I don’t know what happened to the picture but I still remember him clearly from his dimples to his irresistible smile. Last summer after finding the yearbook, I looked up my friend Kyle and found her on facebook. I sent a brief message trying to remind her who I was but no reply. Anyway, i didn’t expect one considering the fact that she has totally changed, has a lip and nose piercing, has straightened and colored her hair but even through all that, she still can’t hide her striking unforgettable face. I also tried to find Chuck but no luck-he went by several aliases back in elementary school so I wont be surprised if he doesn’t go by chuck or charlie anymore. But the funny thing is, even though I know that there is like 0.001% chance of me ever seeing him again, I still wonder WHAT IF: what if I saw him again, what if I hadn’t moved, what if I confronted him about our feelings for each other. Realistically, I know that he probably doesn’t even remember who I am but the sentimentalist in me will always cherish his memory as my first childhood crush in America.