The perils of dating after college
They say that college is the last place where you’ll have as many opportunities to meet your future mate. So clearly this presents a challenge for those of us who are still single after college. Leaving an atmosphere where there are lots of people available to mix and mingle definitely makes dating after college a lot of harder. Last year I wrote a post about why I don’t really like dating apps like Tinder but this year I can actually say that dating apps can be really useful depending on how you use them. My main grievance on dating apps is that they seem to rush people into getting into a relationship without knowing the person really well. However, after using a dating app known as Bumble that empowers women by requiring women to message the guy first, my mentality has changed (fyi, you can also use bumble to meet people for friendship and not for dating). So let me breakdown my strategy on how you can overcome the struggles of dating after college.
- Become more involved in your community. Whether that means joining a volunteer group, church, or whatever tickles your fancy, please do yourself a favor and get out there. You can’t meet anyone while locked up in your house.
- Don’t be afraid to make the first move. If you like someone, ask for their number and invite them to hang out sometime. If I am trying to make friends, I usually invite people to play tennis with me. Playing a sport is a great way to know someone and how they deal with frustrations, wins, losses, etc. Also, it definitely helps your heart health lol.
- Have an idea of what you’re looking for. Before I started using Bumble and put myself out there to date people, I sat down and typed up a list on my phone detailing what qualities my partner MUST have and qualities I am willing to compromise on. For example, one of my must haves is “a sense of humor” and a quality I am willing to compromise on is height (don’t get me wrong, I like giraffe height just like the next girl but that’s now what makes someone a good person).
- Employ the theory of multi-marketing in your dating life. Multi-marketing is what a lot of self-employment scams are made of: basically, you sell a product to your family and friends while also trying to get them to join you in selling the same product. The person who actually owns the product gets a lot more out of it than the person who is selling it. So my friend, meet people and allow other people to take notice of you (the product in this case). The more people you engage with, the better chance you have that you’ll get a customer. So don’t stick to one potential mate in the beginning stages of dating. Date at least two people at one time (if you can handle it) so that you’re not so disappointed when it doesn’t work out with one of them. If you can’t date multiple people at once, at least try to have other options.
- Work on yourself if you are not finding what you’re looking for. I got this tip from a friend and I think it’s a great tip that also goes along with some awesome advice from my father. My father believes that it is better for things to fall into your plate at the right time. Just like a meal starts with an appetizer, entree, and finishes of with a dessert so does your life. So it is better to have your dessert when your ready. In this case, relationships are like desserts so take your time finding the right partner for you. Never rush into things just because you feel lonely. Focus on yourself and practice self- love no matter whether you’re single or taken.
Well, that’s all folks! I wish you all the best in finding and creating love in your life. ❤ 🙂