We have great beaches here. Hello Gulf coast of Mexico! Despite BP trying to ruin our shine with an oil spill, we cleaned that up and our water is pretty clean in most places. Also our beaches are sandy not rocky like beaches in other places. We’re not California but we still have some pretty great waves for surfing plus our water is pretty warm in the summer.
Food like cheesy grits, corn bread, and spicy crawfish! I’ve never seen people eating crawfish anywhere else but in the south. And I am not sure I would even want to because other places butcher southern food. This brings me to my next point: Iced tea.
I’ve had Iced tea up north and it tastes like the person who made it doesn’t know love. Because why else would you make sweet Iced tea that isn’t actually sweet. To anyone reading this that makes Iced tea the northern way (putting sugar after the tea is cooked, stop!). Sweet Iced tea becomes sweet by putting sugar when the tea is boiling so the sugar can actually melt! It’s not rocket science by any means.
Most people are actually sweet just like our tea. People in the neighborhood will actually say hello to you without even knowing you. Older people also love using the words “sweetheart” and “baby” to refer to younger people. Obviously there are also people who might be racist but to be honest those people are everywhere, not just in the south.
The easy going vibe as we don’t like to rush people. Up north, the New York minute is said to be 50 seconds. In that case, the southern minute is probably a good 120 seconds. Cause best believe you’re not going to walk up into a counter and be rude to the attendant. Most southern people are raised better than that which you can tell by the way refer to their elders as m’am and sir.
If you are southerner, please share what you love most about the south. If you’re not, please make it a point to visit this land of fried chicken and collard greens one day! 🙂 ❤
I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t watch the full royal wedding ceremony mainly because I love my sleep. It was all over by the time I woke up yesterday but I definitely kept up with the course of events via instagram and twitter (twitter is my happy place by the way). I think the most interesting part about the royal wedding is not the ceremony but more so the love story between Meghan and Harry. Their love story has taught me a lot and I’ve decided to share the 5 main things that have stuck with me about this beautiful union of interracial, intercontinental, and intersectional love.
Meghan is a divorcee and yet she still managed to find a man who loves her enough to break customary tradition. Imagine how she probably felt after the failure of her first marriage, just hoping that it wasn’t too late to find love again. Then not only does she find love but love with odds against her. Then despite these odds, Harry still chooses her. Ladies and gentleman, I am surprised a meteor hasn’t come crashing to earth yet because this story is so wild and beyond my imagination. The point from this is you should never allow someone to tell you that they can’t be with you because of their family or because of their title, career, etc. If someone wants you, they’ll move heaven and earth to be with you.
You should never beat yourself up over a failed relationship, marriage, etc. I am sure walking away from her first marriage was not easy for Meghan. A lot of people are seeking inspiration from her relationship with Harry. However, there’s a deeper message from her first relationship. The message to me is that you should never settle for less than what you desire and what you deserve. Somewhere deep in Meghan’s heart, she knew that her first husband was not fulfilling her life in the way she wanted and instead of settling for complacency, she stepped out to look for something better. That hope is something we can all believe in (sorry for stealing your tag line, Obama). During most of my break-ups, it’s always because I realize that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with said person. I am sure Meghan wishes she had realized that before marrying her first husband but it’s better late than never. So don’t settle for less. Look for the person who sets your heart on fire and makes you feel down right amazing.
True love always comes on time. This is something my dad actually taught me. If you the love that has come to you is not fitting into your life and seems to have come at the wrong time, it’s not true love. True love comes when your heart and life is ready to experience it. If this fairy tale love had come earlier for Meghan (let’s say in her 20s), she probably would have never been fulfilled in her acting career because she would have been forced to give that up to be part of British royalty. So yes she’s 36 years old and this love is just on time. She’s not the only woman who was in her mid-thirties and unmarried. Best believe, she won’t be the last. So if some of us are destined for the same, don’t curse your life. Don’t hurry love, you never know what destiny has in store for you (hopefully a prince lol).
Be true to yourself. Even if you are marrying a prince, your life is still yours. If you want to walk down the aisle in a simple wedding dress and bare minimum makeup, do you baby. While the world was watching and expected extravagance, Meghan chose to stick to her own personal style. That in itself was a pretty bold move despite the simplicity of her look. Also note, that Harry still looked at her like she was wearing a decadent Victoria secret fantasy lingerie set. I guess you can amp this up by wearing a potato sack to your wedding and seeing if your man looks at you the same (haha I am just joking). But anyway, moral of the story is be unapologetically you.
Lastly, love knows no rules and no boundaries. There’s an African proverb that says “If you stay where you were born, you’ll end up marrying your cousin.” I paraphrased this quote but essentially it means, you should always look for new experiences, new places to see, and new people to meet. If you network very well, you have a higher probability of meeting possible suitors. As you all probably know, Meghan and Harry met through being set up on a blind date by a mutual friend (that friend is the real MVP by the way). Through new experiences, Meghan is now living across the pond with a prince as the Duchess of Sussex. Cue God’s plan for the millionth time.
And with that, I’ll leave you with a final quote shared during the wedding ceremony. 🙂 ❤
“If humanity ever captures the energy of love, it will be the second time in history that we have discovered fire.” – Bishop Michael Curry
This lip liner by P.S. in the color wine goes with me everywhere I go and I imagine it will be a part of my makeup collection for the rest of my life. It’s been a while since my last “taking stock” ;So here goes another one.
Making: my room more of what I’ve always wanted. My new bedroom set comes with two 6 drawer dressers and a leather headboard on the bed. I’ve never really put a lot of effort into decorating my bedroom before so I think it’s about time to do so since eventually I might have to decorate a home (cue Drake’s God’s plan).
Eating: Just ate some tacos for lunch as fuel for the preparation of Easter dinner with the family. I was actually impressed by the tacos at Moe’s Southwest Grill (fun fact: my older brother actually used to work there in high school).
Drinking: water. I try to drink at least a liter of water everyday so that’s my beverage of choice 99% of the time. It’s good for your skin and helps with digestion so get on that H20
Reading: a business book that my brother lent me called The Compounding Effect by Darren Hardy.
Playing: God’s plan by Drake as well as The Weeknd’s new album. I am also a fanatic for soundcloud afrobeats mixes especially for workout music.
Creating: memories with family as always. My niece just started walking last month and watching her grow is still a blessing each and every day.
Wishing: that everyone has a happy and safe Easter holiday.
Enjoying: working evening shift. Any one who knows me knows that I am not a morning person. At my new job I was hired to be evening shift but I had to be training on morning shift. The transition to evening shift has been wonderful for me and my sleep in lifestyle.
Liking: This gel nailpolish I bought. I am not allowed to have manicured hands at work since I have to make intravenous fluids from time to time and nail polish harbors bacteria. However, I am able to have pedicured feet so I bought nail polish for that purpose.
Wondering: when I should schedule my next massage. I have a monthly massage membership since I have a bad back and so far it has been money well spent. Massages have other benefits like decreasing stress and anxiety so definitely consider including it in your life.
Loving: new shoes that I bought from Public Desire (an online store based in the UK) and some from lolashoetique (based in California). If you like platform heeled shoes, UK stores are definitely the place to buy them (yes these shoes are like 5 inches tall but very comfortable).
Hoping: that I will get to travel some for vacation by the end of the year, both locally and internationally.
Marvelling: at how fast this year is flying by. 2018 has been good to me so far. I hope the blessings may continue.
Wearing: a dress that my sister-in-law gave me. I love dresses that don’t require ironing and this is one of them so I am happy to have it.
Noticing: that there’s something powerful about writing stuff down. I’ve journaled quite a bit this year and it’s like therapy to me so I plan to maintain that practice.
Knowing: that there’s always a bigger plan. Life is about the journey, not the destination. Furthermore, Wins and losses are all part of the journey. You can’t always win and you won’t always lose so don’t stress too hard about life.
Thinking: that we should cherish people when they’re with us as being together forever is not always guaranteed. Whether those people are work mates, friends, family, or even teachers, we should make it our duty to be our best selves for each other and especially for our own selves.
Feeling: liberated that I am right where I want to be right now in my life. At peace and truly grateful. Thank you for reading. 🙂 ❤
I recently saw a video of Will Smith explaining how he and his wife were reflecting on the revelations they discovered about love during their marriage. The main revelation that Will shared is that he and Jada realized that your spouse cannot be responsible for your own happiness. He continues to share that someone can make you laugh or make you feel good but no one can make you feel happy. Happiness is one’s responsibility. The minute you place that responsibility on someone else is when you set yourself up for failure.
Will Smith even claimed that the concept that two people become one during marriage is a fallacy. As Frida Kahlo would say, you are the subject you know best so you are best suited to meet your needs. You are on your own journey while your spouse is on theirs. Your role should be supportive like a cheerleader and less of a “parental role”. I think this is why a lot of people complain later in life that they gave up their dreams for their spouse. If you’re trying to be one then merging both of your goals, desires, and interests is not going to be seamless. If you let your partner pursue their goals while you also do the same, there will probably be more success and less resentment in the relationship.
Lastly, Will stated that when you both you and your partner come to each other as full cups already fulfilled with your happiness then the relationship is more fruitful. I’ve noticed over the years in my parent’s marriage that when they both have their hobbies and time to themselves, they are a lot happier with each other. So yes I think Will and Jada are onto something. Maybe that’s why they’ve also aged so well. Low stress and happy marriage probably does equate with better aging so I will be taking this message to heart. If you’re interested in watching the clip of Will Smith discussing this topic, please see the link below. 🙂 ❤
I can’t exactly pin point what year “African culture” started being popular around the world but it’s been an amazing phenomenon to watch. Artists on the continent such as Wizkid and Diamond are collaborating with American artists such as Drake and Ne-yo. I think a lot of us Africans never thought we’d see this happen. We all know that Africa is where humanity originated and in essence, we might all be Africans but the true understanding of Africa is usually lacking in the rest of the world. I can’t point fingers though because what the media portrays (poverty, sickness, and hunger) clouds the true image of Africa (which I can’t even define myself as you just have to see it for yourself).
After watching Black Panther, I am so proud to have some positive representation of Africa on screen. Obviously Wakanda, where the story is set, is a fictional place but the culture was based on true bits and pieces of Africa. For example, the blue blankets that some of the characters wore are actually from Lesotho which is a landlocked country in South Africa. Also, the language spoken (which I could understand a bit due to my time spent in South Africa) is Xhosa. Furthermore, the female warriors are actually based on a real female army in Western Africa. Simply stated Black Panther has made a lot of us proud to be of African descent and that is a really big deal.
Even before Black Panther though, people in the U.S. had started to wear dashikis and African printed prom gowns (the 90s were also notably into African culture with baby names and African braiding being popular). Like I said before, I am not sure when this African trend restarted in the 2000s. However, I can confidently say that Black Panther is the climax of this trend. I can’t wait to see what cross-cultural transfer has in store for us next.
Disclaimer: not all African cultures were depicted in Black Panther so don’t use the film as a way to generalize Africans. We all look different, dress different, eat different etc.
They say that college is the last place where you’ll have as many opportunities to meet your future mate. So clearly this presents a challenge for those of us who are still single after college. Leaving an atmosphere where there are lots of people available to mix and mingle definitely makes dating after college a lot of harder. Last year I wrote a post about why I don’t really like dating apps like Tinder but this year I can actually say that dating apps can be really useful depending on how you use them. My main grievance on dating apps is that they seem to rush people into getting into a relationship without knowing the person really well. However, after using a dating app known as Bumble that empowers women by requiring women to message the guy first, my mentality has changed (fyi, you can also use bumble to meet people for friendship and not for dating). So let me breakdown my strategy on how you can overcome the struggles of dating after college.
Become more involved in your community. Whether that means joining a volunteer group, church, or whatever tickles your fancy, please do yourself a favor and get out there. You can’t meet anyone while locked up in your house.
Don’t be afraid to make the first move. If you like someone, ask for their number and invite them to hang out sometime. If I am trying to make friends, I usually invite people to play tennis with me. Playing a sport is a great way to know someone and how they deal with frustrations, wins, losses, etc. Also, it definitely helps your heart health lol.
Have an idea of what you’re looking for. Before I started using Bumble and put myself out there to date people, I sat down and typed up a list on my phone detailing what qualities my partner MUST have and qualities I am willing to compromise on. For example, one of my must haves is “a sense of humor” and a quality I am willing to compromise on is height (don’t get me wrong, I like giraffe height just like the next girl but that’s now what makes someone a good person).
Employ the theory of multi-marketing in your dating life. Multi-marketing is what a lot of self-employment scams are made of: basically, you sell a product to your family and friends while also trying to get them to join you in selling the same product. The person who actually owns the product gets a lot more out of it than the person who is selling it. So my friend, meet people and allow other people to take notice of you (the product in this case). The more people you engage with, the better chance you have that you’ll get a customer. So don’t stick to one potential mate in the beginning stages of dating. Date at least two people at one time (if you can handle it) so that you’re not so disappointed when it doesn’t work out with one of them. If you can’t date multiple people at once, at least try to have other options.
Work on yourself if you are not finding what you’re looking for. I got this tip from a friend and I think it’s a great tip that also goes along with some awesome advice from my father. My father believes that it is better for things to fall into your plate at the right time. Just like a meal starts with an appetizer, entree, and finishes of with a dessert so does your life. So it is better to have your dessert when your ready. In this case, relationships are like desserts so take your time finding the right partner for you. Never rush into things just because you feel lonely. Focus on yourself and practice self- love no matter whether you’re single or taken.
Well, that’s all folks! I wish you all the best in finding and creating love in your life. ❤ 🙂
Having lived in the U.S. for almost 16 years now has been an enlightening experience. The expectations vs reality phenomenon is really real. To break it down for you, I’ll list 5 things my family expected when we were coming to America and the actual reality that we faced.
We all expected to have a better life in the U.S. In fact, the reason my parents made the decision to move was so that my brothers and I could have more opportunities. However, I can undeniably say that my first year in the U.S. was one of the worst years of my life. I would cry myself to sleep every night because I wanted to go back to Kenya. The home that we lived in while in Kenya was far bigger than the house we ended up in while living most of our years in the U.S. (It’s about the same now expect we had a huge backyard in Kenya due to building our house above our family farm). I can’t say that life in the U.S. is better (maybe a little easier because of a lot more technology).
Many people outside of America think that it’s so easy to make money in the U.S. This perception is especially true in so called “third world countries” (I never liked this label but it sounds much better as compared to what Trump said about the S*** countries.” The truth is the unemployment rate in these countries, including Kenya, is very high and therefore, it’s not as easy to get a job. So yes there are more opportunities to make money but what they don’t tell is that the cost of living in the U.S. is high as well. Therefore, my parents who had great careers in Kenya, my dad as the principal of a high school and my mom as a teacher had to work 2 jobs when they came to America just to make ends meet.
One of the opportunities my parents really wanted for my brothers and I is better education. I wouldn’t say that the education system in the U.S. is better because you get a better education based on your income and where you live (this rings true in Kenya as well). However, I will say there are way more scholarships and financial aid opportunities in the U.S. so it’s much easier for someone to get higher education here than in other countries. My parents were able to get both a bachelors and masters within 10 years of living here which greatly improved their job opportunities. In Kenya, more education doesn’t necessary guarantee more jobs due to corruption and few jobs.
My parent’s greatest fear was that my brothers and I would lose our culture. I can’t say that this happened but we did lose some language skills in term of the tribal languages that we used to speak. We all still speak some Swahili so at least we have that. In terms of culture, we all still love Kenyan food, music, and keep up with the news. We also go back at least every 3 to 4 years so Kenya will always be a part of our lives.
The last expectation is something that I’ll have to wait some years to find out. We all expect to retire in Kenya someday but it seems with every passing year we’re even more rooted in the U.S. In fact, we’ve become so used to the way of life in the U.S. that we sometimes get frustrated about how some things are run in Kenya. However, east or west, home is best (and in our hearts, Kenya will always be home).
I hope this breakdown helps those who want to come to America and are not sure what to expect or the Americans who wonder how others perceive their country. 🙂 ❤
This taking stock blog post is from a blog template that I copied from a Kenyan blogger known as ThisisEss or Sharon Mundia. She also copied it from someone else so I am not sure who is the true creator. Either way, this template really helped break down my 2017 for me. Feel free to use it for yourself.
Making: merry with my family and friends. My family played Secret Santa this year and it was really fun!
Eating: left-over cake that my mom made. My mom is no Betty Crocker in the oven but she knows how to whip up some corn bread, muffins, and little cakes with the help of Betty Crocker cake mixes. I probably got this gene from her cause I am more of an entrée chef than a pastry chef.
Drinking: some almond milk to help the cake digest better. I only drink real milk with tea, milkshakes, and coffee based drinks. I still don’t know 100% if I am lactose intolerant but milk has a lot of fat anyway so I avoid it regardless. I will say almond milk is an acquired taste but an added plus is that its shelf life is longer than that of cow milk.
Reading: “We’re going to need more wine” by Gabrielle Union. I follow Gabrielle on twitter and she seems like an opinionated smart woman (as I also like to think of myself) and so when she came out with her book, I just had to get it. I’ve stopped buying books in attempt to save paper (and the amazon rainforest) so I get books from my local public library. This book was checked out in all the libraries and was booked in advance so I’ve just finally been able to get it and I am liking it so far.
Playing: lots of card games and monopoly. If you’ve ever wondered what is the easiest way to bring a group of people together: card games are the answer. Everyone usually knows at least two card games so you can always learn a new one. My favorite card game would have to be Spades as you play with 4 or 6 people so everyone can have a partner. It’s very strategic and involves some betting so it is a bit more interesting than other card games in my opinion.
Creating: room for new things to learn and do in 2018. One of the things I really want to do is to perform with my guitar at an open-mic night at a local café. I’ve never played my guitar in front of people who aren’t family or friends so this should be a good challenge.
Wishing: I was in Kenya for Christmas so I could be enjoying the equatorial sun and all the partying Kenyans do during December. To put in perspective how serious Kenyans are with their partying, a lot of people end up broke by the time the new year comes and have to eat bread and tea for the whole month of January. From what I hear, it’s usually worth it though.
Enjoying: being at home with my family. The Gulf Coast still experiences some cold during winter but I am super happy that we never get buried in snow. We actually had an inch or two like three weeks ago but it wasn’t really anything significant.
Liking: the present that I got from my Secret Santa. It’s an Anne Klein purse that I am totally in love with.
Wondering: what the new year has in store for me. 2017 went by so fast. There were a lot of good moments, great achievements, and some challenges as well. One thing I’ve learned is that self-care is really important and I was more purposeful in 2017 in taking time to really listen to myself. Sometimes we lie to ourselves to try to protect ourselves but the worst person you can lie to is yourself.
Loving: spending time with my beautiful niece. Watching her grow more and more every day is just pure gold like I could stare at her all day, every day, and never be bored. Even at only one years old, she is so confident of herself so watch out world, we might be raising the next Miss Universe.
Hoping: that I will be able to stick to my health goals in 2018. My dad and I signed up for a gym together with the intent of working out at least three days a week. We haven’t been fully consistent especially with the holidays but in 2018 I hope we’ll be able to stick to a schedule. I also want to play more tennis in 2018. If any of you living in Mobile want to play tennis, please feel free to message me. I am always looking for more players and I am willing to teach those who don’t really know how to play.
Marveling: at how I’ve grown as a person. Of course I don’t mean physically but I have grown 2 inches in the past year so that’s pretty amazing as well (yay late bloomers!). I think I became more of a team player in 2017 and I also figured out what I will not tolerate in relationships (romantic or not).
Wearing: a robe at almost 2PM because if I could live in a robe 24/7 I would. Also, wearing some nice socks that don’t cut off circulation and leave you with streaks on your legs. Good socks are a must in life. I think wearing socks also makes my sleep a 100x better.
Noticing: that only 5 years stand between me and the end of my twenties. May the lord give me guidance on how to approach the next 1,825 days. I don’t take my health and anything for granted so cheers to the 9,184 days that have been blessed with so far.
Knowing: that all that matters is that there’s more in store for me and my life. Life always has a way of surprising us and you have to learn to enjoy those surprises like you’re a one-year-old playing peek-a-boo (fyi that’s how I make my niece smile).
Thinking: about the nice chai latte that I might drink today. If you’re ever in Mobile, AL go to Sartori coffee house, they have the best spicy chai latte that I’ve tasted in a long while.
Feeling: thankful for all the people who frequent this blog. I hope I’ve made you smile, laugh, or helped you learn more about something. I hope you all are enjoying a happy holiday with family, friends, and even yourself. Thank you! See you next year haha! 🙂 ❤
So on MAY 17, 2011 I graduated from HIGH SCHOOL which means I am officially college bound. Ironically it was also my father’s 50th birthday but that was unfortunately overshadowed by my milestone. On the upside, he never remembers his birthday anyway and he still looks like he’s 40 which means I am destined to age slowly (crossing my fingers for no wrinkles since gray hairs do not run in my family). That’s right forget the crap about embracing age and the nature that comes with it (poor eyesight, aching bones, foggy memory etc), i want to be youthful or semi-youthful forever!
Northeastern University, Boston, MA
Anyway, let’s get back on topic and away from my fear of aging, So in 3 months since school here opens in September, I will be an American campus girl ( allusion to savvy’s Kenyan campus girl which inspired me to start this blog). I am excited to move from Alabama which is not a very vibrant place to Boston which is one of the most lively places in the U.S. I’ll be attending Northeastern University to study Pharmacy and they have an awesome program that will enable me to become a Doctor of Pharmacy in six years. So can you imagine that, me as a 24 yr old girl ehem woman/lady that will be referred to as Dr.Mercy! I am beyond excited, not so much because of the title “DOCTOR”, but because of the lifestyle and the flexibility that a pharmacy career offers. I want to first assure you that I am not a GOLD DIGGER but alluding to this phrase that i have recently coined “there’s nothing wrong with being a gold digger if you are digging your OWN gold”.
Either way, like everyone else in this world, I have a dream (MLK voice) where I live without the worry of money. I am not saying I want to be Oprah or Donald Trump rich…I just want to be comfortable. In the U.S. as a single person it is possible to live comfortably on 30K considering you have a normal apartment etc. The starting salary of a pharmacist is between 75-79K and the median salary is 100K which means that this dream will essentially be reality if all goes well. Bring a husband and kids in the picture and a picturesque house and Voila!, that’s the so-called American Dream that you have possibly heard of. Of course kids will come later since by my standard 24 is too young to start a family i am leaning on earliest at 26 and latest at 28. That gives me 2-4 years to settle down, “figure myself out”, and most importantly enjoy my dwindling YOUTH. Also, just so you don’t think I am a self-centered selfish person which isn’t 100% wrong, I plan to come to work with the WHO (World Health Organization) or Doctors Without Borders to facilitate medicine in developing nations. Haven’t worked out how i will do it but I do know that in order to do so, I think I should work in some pharmaceutical development company and somehow guilt them into giving out some of their samples to people in need in developing nations whether it be TYLENOL or some Anti-biotics. Anyway don’t be frightened into thinking that, à la “The Gardener ” (google movie for reference), experimental medicine will be distributed to these poor people as a ploy to use them as guinea pigs. I think the transparency will be the key in making a sustainable impact to the disenfranchised communities that I want to help. I’m all about sustainability in terms of outreach as exemplified by philanthropists such as Bill Gates (who I really look up to, like the rest of the world).
Anyway, this is the most challenging part of my dream because it doesn’t rest solely on my abilities.
the American Dream
After starting a family and raising my kids to the best of my abilities, I plan to retire at the age of 50 or 55 despite the fact that the retirement age in the U.S. is 65. Following my retirement, I plan to return to Kenya and live somewhere nice, maybe Westlands or Nyahururu and maybe try to get a position in the Ministry of Health that actively aims to help people or just start a chain of Pharmacy clinics in Kenya.
Either way something inside me tells me I am destined for greatness and to produce great change…so if Kenya’s government has not gotten its crap together by say 2040 then I with the help of the disillusioned Kenyan masses want to start a revolution where we demand honesty and accountability from the government instead of sitting in front of our TVs and taking whatever they throw at us with our 4 o’clock tea. In essence, I just want to be a part of something that gives back to the country that I owe my entire existence to. I love KENYA and I want nothing but the BEST for it.
So my fellow readers and Kenyans, I apologize for indulging you in 5 paragraphs all about ME although i am guessing that’s what I usually do so in that case Thank You for indulging in 5 paragraphs about my hopes and dreams. I wish you all the best in your dreams and future. And in 50 years I hope to come back and tell you all that everything worked out perfectly despite life’s unending surprises. In the meantime, what are your dreams, and have you achieved them? If not, how do you plan to do so?
broughttoamerica.com 