Guka Ndogo’s valentine’s day feature – 2005, Kenya
This coming Wednesday is Valentine’s Day which is one of the highly debated holidays in our society. Some say its a capitalist exploit of love. Others say it’s the only holiday that celebrates romantic love. Most critics usually claim that they show their love to their partner 365 days a year and therefore, Valentine’s day is unnecessary. I think my stance is probably a mix of both. I don’t think Valentine’s day is that important but neither are some of the other holidays we have (Columbus day) yet we still choose to observe them. Either way, the most important thing on Valentine’s day and any other day is to understand what love is as well as what love is not. Therefore, I have come up with 10 personal descriptions of what love is to me.
Love is when my dad clipped my shoe laces in high school because i was lazy and refused to tie my shoe laces when they came untied.
Love is when my mom wakes up at the crack of dawn when we’re hosting parties so she can make all the amazing food that we love.
Love is when my little brother gives me the biggest teddy bear hugs just because.
Love is when my older brother made sure i had spending money in high school.
Love is when my sister in law gifts me all her nice clothes that she no longer wears.
Love is when my baby niece screams with excitement when she sees me after a long time apart.
Love is when my grandfather’s brother (Guka Ndogo) took care of his wife for 40+ years when she went blind. Despite being 95+ years, he died only after his wife passed away. Their renewal of vows on their 50th wedding anniversary was actually featured in the Daily Nation, Kenya’s premier newspaper.
Love is when my best friend would give me numerous car rides in high school when I didn’t have a car. Also, I can never forget that she’s attending 95% of my family’s graduations.
Love is when I take myself out to get a massage and take time out to treat myself.
Love is when I put my heart and soul into writing a blog post that touches someone’s life. On that note, I love all the feedback I get from those who read my blog.
I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s day whether you celebrate it or not! 🙂 ❤
They say that college is the last place where you’ll have as many opportunities to meet your future mate. So clearly this presents a challenge for those of us who are still single after college. Leaving an atmosphere where there are lots of people available to mix and mingle definitely makes dating after college a lot of harder. Last year I wrote a post about why I don’t really like dating apps like Tinder but this year I can actually say that dating apps can be really useful depending on how you use them. My main grievance on dating apps is that they seem to rush people into getting into a relationship without knowing the person really well. However, after using a dating app known as Bumble that empowers women by requiring women to message the guy first, my mentality has changed (fyi, you can also use bumble to meet people for friendship and not for dating). So let me breakdown my strategy on how you can overcome the struggles of dating after college.
Become more involved in your community. Whether that means joining a volunteer group, church, or whatever tickles your fancy, please do yourself a favor and get out there. You can’t meet anyone while locked up in your house.
Don’t be afraid to make the first move. If you like someone, ask for their number and invite them to hang out sometime. If I am trying to make friends, I usually invite people to play tennis with me. Playing a sport is a great way to know someone and how they deal with frustrations, wins, losses, etc. Also, it definitely helps your heart health lol.
Have an idea of what you’re looking for. Before I started using Bumble and put myself out there to date people, I sat down and typed up a list on my phone detailing what qualities my partner MUST have and qualities I am willing to compromise on. For example, one of my must haves is “a sense of humor” and a quality I am willing to compromise on is height (don’t get me wrong, I like giraffe height just like the next girl but that’s now what makes someone a good person).
Employ the theory of multi-marketing in your dating life. Multi-marketing is what a lot of self-employment scams are made of: basically, you sell a product to your family and friends while also trying to get them to join you in selling the same product. The person who actually owns the product gets a lot more out of it than the person who is selling it. So my friend, meet people and allow other people to take notice of you (the product in this case). The more people you engage with, the better chance you have that you’ll get a customer. So don’t stick to one potential mate in the beginning stages of dating. Date at least two people at one time (if you can handle it) so that you’re not so disappointed when it doesn’t work out with one of them. If you can’t date multiple people at once, at least try to have other options.
Work on yourself if you are not finding what you’re looking for. I got this tip from a friend and I think it’s a great tip that also goes along with some awesome advice from my father. My father believes that it is better for things to fall into your plate at the right time. Just like a meal starts with an appetizer, entree, and finishes of with a dessert so does your life. So it is better to have your dessert when your ready. In this case, relationships are like desserts so take your time finding the right partner for you. Never rush into things just because you feel lonely. Focus on yourself and practice self- love no matter whether you’re single or taken.
Well, that’s all folks! I wish you all the best in finding and creating love in your life. ❤ 🙂
This taking stock blog post is from a blog template that I copied from a Kenyan blogger known as ThisisEss or Sharon Mundia. She also copied it from someone else so I am not sure who is the true creator. Either way, this template really helped break down my 2017 for me. Feel free to use it for yourself.
Making: merry with my family and friends. My family played Secret Santa this year and it was really fun!
Eating: left-over cake that my mom made. My mom is no Betty Crocker in the oven but she knows how to whip up some corn bread, muffins, and little cakes with the help of Betty Crocker cake mixes. I probably got this gene from her cause I am more of an entrée chef than a pastry chef.
Drinking: some almond milk to help the cake digest better. I only drink real milk with tea, milkshakes, and coffee based drinks. I still don’t know 100% if I am lactose intolerant but milk has a lot of fat anyway so I avoid it regardless. I will say almond milk is an acquired taste but an added plus is that its shelf life is longer than that of cow milk.
Reading: “We’re going to need more wine” by Gabrielle Union. I follow Gabrielle on twitter and she seems like an opinionated smart woman (as I also like to think of myself) and so when she came out with her book, I just had to get it. I’ve stopped buying books in attempt to save paper (and the amazon rainforest) so I get books from my local public library. This book was checked out in all the libraries and was booked in advance so I’ve just finally been able to get it and I am liking it so far.
Playing: lots of card games and monopoly. If you’ve ever wondered what is the easiest way to bring a group of people together: card games are the answer. Everyone usually knows at least two card games so you can always learn a new one. My favorite card game would have to be Spades as you play with 4 or 6 people so everyone can have a partner. It’s very strategic and involves some betting so it is a bit more interesting than other card games in my opinion.
Creating: room for new things to learn and do in 2018. One of the things I really want to do is to perform with my guitar at an open-mic night at a local café. I’ve never played my guitar in front of people who aren’t family or friends so this should be a good challenge.
Wishing: I was in Kenya for Christmas so I could be enjoying the equatorial sun and all the partying Kenyans do during December. To put in perspective how serious Kenyans are with their partying, a lot of people end up broke by the time the new year comes and have to eat bread and tea for the whole month of January. From what I hear, it’s usually worth it though.
Enjoying: being at home with my family. The Gulf Coast still experiences some cold during winter but I am super happy that we never get buried in snow. We actually had an inch or two like three weeks ago but it wasn’t really anything significant.
Liking: the present that I got from my Secret Santa. It’s an Anne Klein purse that I am totally in love with.
Wondering: what the new year has in store for me. 2017 went by so fast. There were a lot of good moments, great achievements, and some challenges as well. One thing I’ve learned is that self-care is really important and I was more purposeful in 2017 in taking time to really listen to myself. Sometimes we lie to ourselves to try to protect ourselves but the worst person you can lie to is yourself.
Loving: spending time with my beautiful niece. Watching her grow more and more every day is just pure gold like I could stare at her all day, every day, and never be bored. Even at only one years old, she is so confident of herself so watch out world, we might be raising the next Miss Universe.
Hoping: that I will be able to stick to my health goals in 2018. My dad and I signed up for a gym together with the intent of working out at least three days a week. We haven’t been fully consistent especially with the holidays but in 2018 I hope we’ll be able to stick to a schedule. I also want to play more tennis in 2018. If any of you living in Mobile want to play tennis, please feel free to message me. I am always looking for more players and I am willing to teach those who don’t really know how to play.
Marveling: at how I’ve grown as a person. Of course I don’t mean physically but I have grown 2 inches in the past year so that’s pretty amazing as well (yay late bloomers!). I think I became more of a team player in 2017 and I also figured out what I will not tolerate in relationships (romantic or not).
Wearing: a robe at almost 2PM because if I could live in a robe 24/7 I would. Also, wearing some nice socks that don’t cut off circulation and leave you with streaks on your legs. Good socks are a must in life. I think wearing socks also makes my sleep a 100x better.
Noticing: that only 5 years stand between me and the end of my twenties. May the lord give me guidance on how to approach the next 1,825 days. I don’t take my health and anything for granted so cheers to the 9,184 days that have been blessed with so far.
Knowing: that all that matters is that there’s more in store for me and my life. Life always has a way of surprising us and you have to learn to enjoy those surprises like you’re a one-year-old playing peek-a-boo (fyi that’s how I make my niece smile).
Thinking: about the nice chai latte that I might drink today. If you’re ever in Mobile, AL go to Sartori coffee house, they have the best spicy chai latte that I’ve tasted in a long while.
Feeling: thankful for all the people who frequent this blog. I hope I’ve made you smile, laugh, or helped you learn more about something. I hope you all are enjoying a happy holiday with family, friends, and even yourself. Thank you! See you next year haha! 🙂 ❤
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