This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending a very beautiful wedding.

I originally bought this wedding dress for a friend’s wedding last year but I ended up not going. As such, I was very excited to have the opportunity to wear this dress. Due to me being pretty skinny when I bought this dress, I had to get it altered which presented the challenge of finding matching fabric but my tailor was a pro so she did a wonderful job.

As much as I enjoy weddings, they sometimes present a challenge for non-drinkers (like my current self). It seems like alcohol is always a highlight of the wedding for most and therefore, people are always curious as to why you choose not to drink. Therefore, I have come up with five witty jokes to use if someone asks why you choose not to drink. I think these jokes can be used in any scenario besides weddings. And yes they are 100% original. I hope they make you laugh so I can consider being the next Kevin Hart or better yet, Trevor Noah.

1. Jesus blessed me with this gift of turning water into wine when it enters my mouth.
2. It’s always happy hour for me when I am not drunk.
3. I am naturally high on life must be the h20 in my glass.
4. I like my grapes raw, unpressed, and not on the rocks. 
5. I am trying to keep my kidneys healthy so I can get the best price for them on the black market.