Lifestyle – Page 9

The perils of dating after college

February 4, 2018

They say that college is the last place where you’ll have as many opportunities to meet your future mate. So clearly this presents a challenge for those of us who are still single after college. Leaving an atmosphere where there are lots of people available to mix and mingle definitely makes dating after college a lot of harder. Last year I wrote a post about why I don’t really like dating apps like Tinder but this year I can actually say that dating apps can be really useful depending on how you use them. My main grievance on dating apps is that they seem to rush people into getting into a relationship without knowing the person really well. However, after using a dating app known as Bumble that empowers women by requiring women to message the guy first, my mentality has changed (fyi, you can also use bumble to meet people for friendship and not for dating). So let me breakdown my strategy on how you can overcome the struggles of dating after college.

Become more involved in your community. Whether that means joining a volunteer group, church, or whatever tickles your fancy, please do yourself a favor and get out there. You can’t meet anyone while locked up in your house.
Don’t be afraid to make the first move. If you like someone, ask for their number and invite them to hang out sometime. If I am trying to make friends, I usually invite people to play tennis with me. Playing a sport is a great way to know someone and how they deal with frustrations, wins, losses, etc. Also, it definitely helps your heart health lol.
Have an idea of what you’re looking for. Before I started using Bumble and put myself out there to date people, I sat down and typed up a list on my phone detailing what qualities my partner MUST have and qualities I am willing to compromise on. For example, one of my must haves is “a sense of humor” and a quality I am willing to compromise on is height (don’t get me wrong, I like giraffe height just like the next girl but that’s now what makes someone a good person).
Employ the theory of multi-marketing in your dating life. Multi-marketing is what a lot of self-employment scams are made of: basically, you sell a product to your family and friends while also trying to get them to join you in selling the same product. The person who actually owns the product gets a lot more out of it than the person who is selling it. So my friend, meet people and allow other people to take notice of you (the product in this case). The more people you engage with, the better chance you have that you’ll get a customer. So don’t stick to one potential mate in the beginning stages of dating. Date at least two people at one time (if you can handle it) so that you’re not so disappointed when it doesn’t work out with one of them. If you can’t date multiple people at once, at least try to have other options.
Work on yourself if you are not finding what you’re looking for. I got this tip from a friend and I think it’s a great tip that also goes along with some awesome advice from my father. My father believes that it is better for things to fall into your plate at the right time. Just like a meal starts with an appetizer, entree, and finishes of with a dessert so does your life. So it is better to have your dessert when your ready. In this case, relationships are like desserts so take your time finding the right partner for you. Never rush into things just because you feel lonely. Focus on yourself and practice self- love no matter whether you’re single or taken.

Well, that’s all folks! I wish you all the best in finding and creating love in your life. ❤ 🙂

The American Dream: Is America really the land of milk and honey?

January 28, 2018

Having lived in the U.S. for almost 16 years now has been an enlightening experience. The expectations vs reality phenomenon is really real. To break it down for you, I’ll list 5 things my family expected when we were coming to America and the actual reality that we faced.

We all expected to have a better life in the U.S. In fact, the reason my parents made the decision to move was so that my brothers and I could have more opportunities. However, I can undeniably say that my first year in the U.S. was one of the worst years of my life. I would cry myself to sleep every night because I wanted to go back to Kenya. The home that we lived in while in Kenya was far bigger than the house we ended up in while living most of our years in the U.S. (It’s about the same now expect we had a huge backyard in Kenya due to building our house above our family farm). I can’t say that life in the U.S. is better (maybe a little easier because of a lot more technology).
Many people outside of America think that it’s so easy to make money in the U.S. This perception is especially true in so called “third world countries” (I never liked this label but it sounds much better as compared to what Trump said about the S*** countries.” The truth is the unemployment rate in these countries, including Kenya, is very high and therefore, it’s not as easy to get a job. So yes there are more opportunities to make money but what they don’t tell is that the cost of living in the U.S. is high as well. Therefore, my parents who had great careers in Kenya, my dad as the principal of a high school and my mom as a teacher had to work 2 jobs when they came to America just to make ends meet.
One of the opportunities my parents really wanted for my brothers and I is better education. I wouldn’t say that the education system in the U.S. is better because you get a better education based on your income and where you live (this rings true in Kenya as well). However, I will say there are way more scholarships and financial aid opportunities in the U.S. so it’s much easier for someone to get higher education here than in other countries. My parents were able to get both a bachelors and masters within 10 years of living here which greatly improved their job opportunities. In Kenya, more education doesn’t necessary guarantee more jobs due to corruption and few jobs.
My parent’s greatest fear was that my brothers and I would lose our culture. I can’t say that this happened but we did lose some language skills in term of the tribal languages that we used to speak. We all still speak some Swahili so at least we have that. In terms of culture, we all still love Kenyan food, music, and keep up with the news. We also go back at least every 3 to 4 years so Kenya will always be a part of our lives.
The last expectation is something that I’ll have to wait some years to find out. We all expect to retire in Kenya someday but it seems with every passing year we’re even more rooted in the U.S. In fact, we’ve become so used to the way of life in the U.S. that we sometimes get frustrated about how some things are run in Kenya. However, east or west, home is best (and in our hearts, Kenya will always be home).

I hope this breakdown helps those who want to come to America and are not sure what to expect or the Americans who wonder how others perceive their country. 🙂 ❤

Job application, interview, and working tips

January 21, 2018

Screen Shot 2018-01-20 at 5.57.36 PM — Bachelors Graduation 2016

The biggest months for hiring in the U.S.A are January and February (according to Google and general knowledge). I personally just started a new job in January and I can attest to this. After going through many interviews and receiving a handful of offers, I feel as though I can provide a bit of insight on this process. So I will breakup this post into three parts: resume, interview and job training tips.

Resume:

Use more active than passive verbs in describing your experiences i.e. “coordinated” sounds better than “assisted”
Don’t make it too long. A good way to fine tune it is to remove experiences that don’t relate to the job. For example my first job was as a waitress at a smoothie café but I never include that in my resumes now cause I have way more relevant experience for my field.
Include some cool stuff that differentiates you like scholarships or awards you may have won. If you do any volunteering, it can be nice to include that so the interviewer or hiring manager can get to know you better.
Most important: get someone else to read it for grammatical errors because typos are a no-no. If you don’t have someone, you can use online platforms like Ziprecruiter, which not only helps you find jobs but also give you resume tips that are specific to you.

Interview:

Make sure to read the job description!!!!! If you know exactly what the job expects and is looking for then you’ll be able to come up with very good questions to ask at the interview. You’ll also seem very aware of what the job is asking for and interviewers get very excited about that.
Get some Intel from someone who already works there or at a similar job. You’ll be able to learn some of the lingo from them and also learn about the work culture of the place so you can make a more informed decision about whether you want the job or not.
Try to remember the names of everyone who interviews you so you can send a thank you email for the interview that mentions the names of those who interviewed you.
Know your resume very well so if they ask you a question about your experience, you can expound on the points you put on your resume.
Also, don’t assume the interviewers will print copies of your resume so plan to bring at least 3 copies of your resume with you to the interview.

Job Training:

Bring a small note pad and a pen at all times so that you can write stuff down that you’ll probably not remember otherwise.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s better to ask them during job training than to ask them later and look like you weren’t paying attention when you were being trained.
Try to learn everyone’s names. I am so bad at names; I had to write them all down in my notepad during my first week at my job.
Dress to impress. Don’t participate in casual Friday until you’ve worked there for a while so you don’t go overboard. Also this is a time you’re getting introduced to a lot of people, so you always want to look professional.

Thank you for reading. I hope all these tips help you in your job search or starting process. Good luck! J ❤

The 1st time I realized I was dark-skinned

January 10, 2018

This post was inspired by Gabrielle Union’s book “We’re going to need more wine”. Despite being absolutely gorgeous, she grew up being told she was “pretty for a dark skinned girl” or “pretty for a black girl” in a small suburb in California. This led her to wanting to try to assimilate to her white suburban peers who occasionally used the N-word in front her as they did not perceive her as a “regular black person”. This led her to wanting to be the best black person she can be. Even in Hollywood, she felt that it was her against all the other black actresses. This led her to later admitting during an acceptance speech for an Essence Fierce and Fearless Award that she was in fact a mean girl, far from the uplifting person that the award described.

I could really relate to her story as I went through the same thing in middle and high school where some people didn’t consider me black because I was African. People would speak ill of black Americans in front of me because I wasn’t considered one of them. This led me to feel like I didn’t really belong because I wasn’t black enough for black Americans and I wasn’t Asian or Hispanic or part of any other minority group in my schools. But despite all this, I never realized I was dark skinned until like 10th grade (form 2 for my Kenyans).

I was probably 15 or 16 at the time and I was riding the bus from school when our bus driver had to include another bus route in our trip because the other bus driver called out of work. So this light skinned black American guy sits next to me on the bus and starts to talk to me. He had cut stripes in his eyebrows like a lot of people did when Soulja Boy popularized it (see picture below). I could tell that we went on the same level mentally but talking to him was better than watching trees go by in the window. He seemed obsessed with his looks as he kept asking me if I thought he was cute. He also asked me to tell him if he looked more like Souljah Boy or Chris Brown. I told him I didn’t find Souljah Boy attractive (the gangsta look is not what attracts me to a guy) and that I didn’t like Chris Brown anymore since he beat up Rihanna (mind you I had a huge crush on Chris Brown in 6 and 7^th grade before that horrific beat down happened).

soulja boy

Eventually, the guy gets a call from one of his friends on his cell phone ( we weren’t really supposed to be using them on the bus but the bus drivers broke that rule too so no one cared as long you were discreet). So the guy start to describe where is at and what he’s doing. At some point he says “I was talking to this pretty dark skinned girl, I wish you could see her”. Oblivious to me, I didn’t actually think he was talking to me and I started getting mad wondering why he would be talking about another girl while sitting next to me. I didn’t realize that “pretty dark skinned girl” was me until I saw other girls on the bus looking at me while seeming jealous of me. Shortly after, we reached his bus stop and he got off while saying that he hoped to see me again. I said “cool” but deep down I was still in thought about whether I was dark skinned or not.

Now that I think about it, I think the gradient of skin color depends on each individual person’s perspective. For the guy on the bus, he probably saw me as dark skinned since he was light skinned with a yellow skin tone. Growing up in my family, I always knew I was the darkest when compared to my two brothers. My mother is light-skinned while my dad is darker skinned so I think when I grew into looking like my mother, I assumed I was light-skinned like her. I knew to non-black people (especially whites and Asians), I was automatically dark-skinned to them just like most black people but it gets complicated when the person judging your skin color is of the same race. In Kenya, people are split into three groups: yellow, brown, and black. In Kenya, I knew I wasn’t yellow or black; my mom still refers to me as brown.

What has actually helped me understand my skin tone better is make-up. In the world of makeup for people of color, there is one key term called undertone. You can be of the same skin color with someone but have different undertones. Usually the main undertones are red or yellow. I have worn makeup with yellow undertones that make me too light and makeup with red undertones that make me too dark. I recently solved this dilemma thanks to the Fenty Beauty foundation which won an award for “invention of the year” by Time Magazine. I wear the number 410 or 420 in Rihanna’s makeup line and these numbers correlate to a neutral undertone. So there you have it, I am neither light nor dark. I am neutral; somewhere in between my mother and my father. And I hope we may all be neutral in judging people by the color of their skin. And please don’t be one of those people who says “I don’t see color” unless you’re blind. Most of us have been blessed with sight so use it to see someone for who they are rather than to discriminate against them.

Thank you for reading. 🙂 ❤

Taking Stock: 2017

December 26, 2017

This taking stock blog post is from a blog template that I copied from a Kenyan blogger known as ThisisEss or Sharon Mundia. She also copied it from someone else so I am not sure who is the true creator. Either way, this template really helped break down my 2017 for me. Feel free to use it for yourself.

Making: merry with my family and friends. My family played Secret Santa this year and it was really fun!

Eating: left-over cake that my mom made. My mom is no Betty Crocker in the oven but she knows how to whip up some corn bread, muffins, and little cakes with the help of Betty Crocker cake mixes. I probably got this gene from her cause I am more of an entrée chef than a pastry chef.

Drinking: some almond milk to help the cake digest better. I only drink real milk with tea, milkshakes, and coffee based drinks. I still don’t know 100% if I am lactose intolerant but milk has a lot of fat anyway so I avoid it regardless. I will say almond milk is an acquired taste but an added plus is that its shelf life is longer than that of cow milk.

Reading: “We’re going to need more wine” by Gabrielle Union. I follow Gabrielle on twitter and she seems like an opinionated smart woman (as I also like to think of myself) and so when she came out with her book, I just had to get it. I’ve stopped buying books in attempt to save paper (and the amazon rainforest) so I get books from my local public library. This book was checked out in all the libraries and was booked in advance so I’ve just finally been able to get it and I am liking it so far.

Playing: lots of card games and monopoly. If you’ve ever wondered what is the easiest way to bring a group of people together: card games are the answer. Everyone usually knows at least two card games so you can always learn a new one. My favorite card game would have to be Spades as you play with 4 or 6 people so everyone can have a partner. It’s very strategic and involves some betting so it is a bit more interesting than other card games in my opinion.

Creating: room for new things to learn and do in 2018. One of the things I really want to do is to perform with my guitar at an open-mic night at a local café. I’ve never played my guitar in front of people who aren’t family or friends so this should be a good challenge.

Wishing: I was in Kenya for Christmas so I could be enjoying the equatorial sun and all the partying Kenyans do during December. To put in perspective how serious Kenyans are with their partying, a lot of people end up broke by the time the new year comes and have to eat bread and tea for the whole month of January. From what I hear, it’s usually worth it though.

Enjoying: being at home with my family. The Gulf Coast still experiences some cold during winter but I am super happy that we never get buried in snow. We actually had an inch or two like three weeks ago but it wasn’t really anything significant.

Liking: the present that I got from my Secret Santa. It’s an Anne Klein purse that I am totally in love with.

Wondering: what the new year has in store for me. 2017 went by so fast. There were a lot of good moments, great achievements, and some challenges as well. One thing I’ve learned is that self-care is really important and I was more purposeful in 2017 in taking time to really listen to myself. Sometimes we lie to ourselves to try to protect ourselves but the worst person you can lie to is yourself.

Loving: spending time with my beautiful niece. Watching her grow more and more every day is just pure gold like I could stare at her all day, every day, and never be bored. Even at only one years old, she is so confident of herself so watch out world, we might be raising the next Miss Universe.

Hoping: that I will be able to stick to my health goals in 2018. My dad and I signed up for a gym together with the intent of working out at least three days a week. We haven’t been fully consistent especially with the holidays but in 2018 I hope we’ll be able to stick to a schedule. I also want to play more tennis in 2018. If any of you living in Mobile want to play tennis, please feel free to message me. I am always looking for more players and I am willing to teach those who don’t really know how to play.

Marveling: at how I’ve grown as a person. Of course I don’t mean physically but I have grown 2 inches in the past year so that’s pretty amazing as well (yay late bloomers!). I think I became more of a team player in 2017 and I also figured out what I will not tolerate in relationships (romantic or not).

Wearing: a robe at almost 2PM because if I could live in a robe 24/7 I would. Also, wearing some nice socks that don’t cut off circulation and leave you with streaks on your legs. Good socks are a must in life. I think wearing socks also makes my sleep a 100x better.

Noticing: that only 5 years stand between me and the end of my twenties. May the lord give me guidance on how to approach the next 1,825 days. I don’t take my health and anything for granted so cheers to the 9,184 days that have been blessed with so far.

Knowing: that all that matters is that there’s more in store for me and my life. Life always has a way of surprising us and you have to learn to enjoy those surprises like you’re a one-year-old playing peek-a-boo (fyi that’s how I make my niece smile).

Thinking: about the nice chai latte that I might drink today. If you’re ever in Mobile, AL go to Sartori coffee house, they have the best spicy chai latte that I’ve tasted in a long while.

Feeling: thankful for all the people who frequent this blog. I hope I’ve made you smile, laugh, or helped you learn more about something. I hope you all are enjoying a happy holiday with family, friends, and even yourself. Thank you! See you next year haha! 🙂 ❤

Top 5 things I’ve learned from blogging

December 18, 2017

You get the most support from the people you least expect. I always thought that my biggest fans would be female but in actuality I get the most feedback from guys. In particular, the most popular were the male romper post and the how to slide in DMs post.
I always used to think that I have commitment issues because I can get bored easily. However, I’ve been pretty committed to this blog. Even when I have writers’ block, I still find something to post (whether it’s pictures or art). They say you should get a pet to overcome commitment issues but my advice is get a blog; it’s less upkeep lol.
Patience is key. Some weeks, my blog visits are booming and other days I just get a couple visits. I try to learn from these patterns and see what readers really like reading about. I love numbers so this has become kind of fun to me.
Consistency is key. In anything that you do, do it to your best ability no matter if there’s anyone watching. Some people think my end goal is for this blog to become famous. That’s really not the case. I am an artistic person and this blog is to create room for art in my life. If others happen to like it, well and good. If not, I’ll still be here doing this for me. This kind of brings me to my next point.
Gratitude is the main thing I’ve learned above all the lessons. I am so grateful when I get a blog idea that ends up relating to a lot of people. I am so grateful when I get comments of how someone enjoyed reading a particular post. I am so grateful when I see a visit from a country that I usually don’t see like Greenland, Australia, United Kingdom. I am so grateful for every single one of my readers. Thank you all so much for your support! 🙂 ❤

TOP 5 VACATION DESTINATIONS

December 12, 2017

ZANZIBAR, TANZANIA

Zanzibar has been my obsession for a while and it is for good reason. As an island off the coast of Tanzania, it is not one of the well-known vacation spots so it doesn’t get very crowded. Also, it has the bluest water I’ve seen on the east coast of Africa. If you also want to see how the Arabs influenced African culture to form the Swahili culture, this is a good place to go and see that from the food to the architecture. Speaking of architecture, doesn’t a restaurant in the ocean also sound like a great idea. If you can’t imagine that, see the photos below.

image description

BALI, INDONESIA

I’ve always wanted to go to Indonesia ever since my fascination with surfing started, probably in high school. I’ve had the pleasure of surfing in South Africa so Indonesia where world surfers go to smash the waves is probably too advanced for me but I’d love to watch pro-surfers do their thing while visiting Bali. Another thing I’d love to do, which is on my bucket list, is to ride an elephant. Although, we do have elephants in Kenya, for some reason we don’t ride them so Eastern Asia would definitely be the place to go for that. Indonesia is also very diverse in religion (Muslim, Christian, and Buddhist) so that would be interesting to observe as well.

DUBAI, UAE

If you can’t tell already, I am a sucker for architecture so the fact that Dubai was built from engineering the water to create more land is pretty cool to me (I think they did this through draining; I am trying to remember from my geography days but my memory is failing me). Also, riding through the desert on a camel or an ATV sounds very exhilarating.

IBIZA, SPAIN

A lot of celebrities have come out saying that Ibiza is their favorite party spot. My man crush Idris Elba who is the jack of all trades has actually DJ’d in Ibiza before. There’s also the song from Mike Posner about him taking a party drug in Ibiza (I am not promoting that but the song does have a good beat). The other cool thing about Ibiza and Spain is that they’re right across from Morocco so it’s possible to take a quick flight or boat across the sea to the Motherland. Speaking of the Motherland, the next travel destination is from my own backyard.

APCCDT Harbour, Dalt Vila, Eivissa, Ibiza, Balearic Islands, Spain

MASAAI MARA, KENYA To provide you a bit of history, the Queen of England was on safari in Kenya when she found out that she would be queen (after her father King George VI) died. Years later, Prince William also proposed to Kate Middleton while also on safari in Kenya. Prince Harry has broken the cycle but the point here is that the Kenyan wilderness can be a super romantic destination. Watching the wildebeest migration and the other animals in their natural habitat is an experience of a lifetime (This is why I stopped going to zoos and probably will never take my kids to a zoo). Other celebrities who have lodged in the Masaai Mara include Angelina Jolie and Richard Branson who owns a beautiful safari camp known as Mahali Mzuri (The Good Place). I think whoever chose that name deserves all the praise because the Masaai Mara is definitely a good place.

How to properly slide into someone’s DMs featuring a case study

December 2, 2017

Hello class. My name is Professor W and today I will be teaching you how to slide into someone’s DMs (direct messages) without making a fool of yourself. I am quite experienced in this because I am the kind of girl that doesn’t blink twice at a guy and expect him to understand that I like him. When the blinking fails, I do what the internet has emboldened us to do these days, a practice known as sliding into DMs, which is the modern version of throwing a rock at the person you fancy. I am so excited to talk to you about this because I’ve experienced some terrible DM sliding in my few years of dating life. In order for you to better understand, I’ll break this lesson into two parts: the first being a case study of a very successful relationship that started from the DMs and the second part being a list of major tips to follow when being a DM slider.

Case Study: Banky W and Adesua Etomi

If you are not African, you might not have heard of Banky W (a successful musician and actor) or Adesua Etomi (a beautiful and intelligent actress) who are a Nigerian whose nuptials are the current craze on the continent. To give you the full picture of successful DM sliding, please refer to the amazing pictures below of their glorious weddings…yes weddings because African usually do two weddings (Traditional African wedding and White Western wedding).

adesua

I am going to give you a minute to take all that in. Yes both weddings were conducted in Africa, the latter being beside the glorious Table Mountain in Cape Town, South Africa. For each wedding, Adesua had a minimum of 3 outfits all glorious and very original (for example, have you ever seen the bridal party wear all black for a wedding? I’d guess not). Anyway, let me get away from my obsession with their weddings and move on to the meat of the story which is how Adesua and Banky started dating. I am sure you would probably not think that their relationship started from the DMs but yes it did ( my source is Adesua herself who dedicated a post to Banky describing how she kind of friend zoned him initially but now he is her whole world, the man she prayed for, etc). I am sure my male readers are rolling their eyes right now thinking “yeah yeah we know nice guys finish last, tell me how to finish first”. In my opinion, dating for marriage is a long game. Banky W clearly knew this because when Adesua said hey thanks for sliding into my DMs but I am not looking to date, he decided to be her friend and according to Adesua, he became her #1 fan. According to some sources, Adesua was in another relationship when Banky approached her but I can’t vouch for that information because it didn’t come from her. Regardless, the fact that Banky decided to get to know her some more while waiting for the best time to take the friendship to the next level shows that he is a wise man. It also shows that he slid into her DMs without disrespecting her or her possible relationship at the time. This leads me to my first major tip for successful DM sliding.

Don’t be too forward. I’ve experienced a particularly horrible DM sliding where a guy was telling me that he wanted to raise his kids in my home country, Kenya, and how he wanted to buy me shoes. First of all his approach came off as him trying to show off his wallet and assuming that he can have me because he can afford me. Also, him talking about kids so early was just off putting. So the lesson here is to never sound like you’re completely obsessed with the person you’re trying to court. Start with something light like “hey I noticed your last selfie was at a museum, can you tell me which museum that was?” With such a smooth intro, it’s then easy to move to ask the person out on a date or hang out, perhaps at one of the places you saw they like.
Be yourself. I think this is another tip that a lot of people forget despite how obvious it is. This is especially common with girls who usually ask their girlfriends what to say to the guy they’re trying to talk to. I’ve also experienced this with a guy who tried to spit poetry to me during his DM sliding and he sounded like a bootleg Shakespeare (like the bootlegs where the movie hasn’t even been edited before you see it). I think it’s very easy for someone to notice that you’re not talking like you usually do so please stop trying to get friends to write what you should say. If the person doesn’t respond to what you say then at least you know you’re not compatible.
Proof-read your messages. Unless you’re writing slang like holla or whatever, It looks weird when you misspell simple words like “beautiful” or “fantastic”. If you’re not a good speller, then draft your message in a note taking app or look up words when you are not sure about the spelling. I am guessing most of my readers are educated people so please use your education to good use and spell properly. I think this is my worst pet peeve especially when I am in Kenya where some people think it is fashionable to shorten words like good night to good n8e or some variation of that. English is an official language of Kenya please write it properly.
Respect people’s time. My greatest fear in relationships is wasting my time. Unfortunately in relationships, you can’t reclaim your time as easily like Maxine Waters when other congressmen ramble on her time. However, you can always try to be fair. If you know, you’re too busy for a relationship don’t start talking to people just to pass your time and waste their time. Be fair and tell people hey I am just looking for someone to talk to, nothing serious, because I am very busy right now. Simple as that. Being a nice person is not rocket science. Do better. Don’t waste nobody’s time including yours.
Communicate. Communicate. Communication helps any relationship whether it be friendship or marriage. We hear it all the time but I don’t think we truly get it. Communication can be as simple as telling someone “hey sorry I didn’t respond to your message until now, I just woke up from a three hour nap” to “hey I am also dating other people, I hope you are okay with that”. I think the more we communicate, the less we hurt ourselves and others. Communication also ties back to respecting people’s time because honesty is a big component of both. So yeah listen to that little voice that tells you to do the right thing. Also listen to a woman when she tells you NO. Don’t keep pursuing her. If she says, let’s be friends, then play the long game and be her friend. If you can’t do that, then leave her alone. As they say in the medical field “above all, do no harm”.

I hope this lesson helped to provide some insight on how sliding in DMs should be done. Sliding in DMs is not a competitive sport so don’t be that guy who hits up 40 different chicks with the same “hey beautiful” line. Let’s all pledge to do better. Thank you Adesua and Banky W for showing us the way. I hope your marriage will be filled with longevity and happiness. : ) ❤

5 things I am thankful for in 2017

November 20, 2017

In the spirit of thanksgiving, I have come up with a list of five things that I am thankful for this season. I’ve never had the traditional American Thanksgiving experience with lots of family because we don’t have a lot of relatives in the U. S. The other reason is because my family doesn’t like how Turkey tastes. We actually had pet turkeys in Kenya and one of them used to bully me by vibrating its feathers towards me. I was around 6 years old so the force of the vibration was actually enough to knock me down. After some “Kenyan martial arts” training from my grandfather, I stood up to the turkey and ruffled its feathers. This worked for a little while until one day when the Turkey caught me off guard while I was walking out of the house. Not too long after that, the turkey died mysteriously. My theory is that my Grandpa had something to do with it but unfortunately heaven doesn’t have a phone to ring him up.

Without further ado, here’s the top 5 things I am thankful for this season:

Having more time to experiment with my natural hair. Seems like I am finally getting the hang of it. For those who are curious, I use the L-O-C method which stands for Liquid (water), Oil, (apricot oil), and Conditioner (Cantu leave-in-conditioner). I also moisturize my hair and scalp with melted castor oil; I’ve noticed my scalp really appreciates this because I have a dry and sensitive scalp due to damage from chemical relaxer treatments in the past. I might do a video on this one day but in the mean time, there’s lots of videos on Youtube for every hair and scalp type.
Being around my family everyday is also a blessing since I spent 6 years away from home for school. I definitely got very home sick during those times and its so wonderful to be around them for all the milestones that we’ve experienced this year.
I am thankful in advance for all the good foods I am going to be eating this holiday season. From goat, my mom’s world winning pilau, samosa, and more, we’re definitely going to have multiple food babies. I am on samosa duty this year so I can’t wait when my family can’t get enough of them.
Being done with school for the indefinite future is also music to my ears. Before my grandfather passed away about 10 years ago, I clipped his toe nails and he blessed me with his dream for me to be a doctor. This year I am proud to have fulfilled that dream by getting my doctor of pharmacy degree. All thanks to God and my family for supporting me through that journey.
A gratitude list is never complete without giving thanks for good health. I definitely don’t take for granted that I get to wake up everyday and be able to do everything that I need to do. I was definitely better at my fitness at the beginning of the year than I am now but hey it’s the holidays. I have also been meditating for the past 10 days so at least I am working out my brain. For those interested in trying out meditation, I used the app Headspace but Youtube is also another place to find free guided meditation.

Top 5 quotes that I live by

November 6, 2017

1. “Can miles truly separate you from friends…If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?”-Richard Bach

This quote connects with me a lot because I have a lot of friendships with people far away from where I live.

2. “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”

I think this is a variation of the quote that there’s nothing to fear but fear itself. I like the Nelson Mandela quote better because it acknowledges that it is okay to be afraid but you must have the courage to overcome that fear so that you can go after what you want.

3. “ I get more lucky when i work harder”- Dad

I am not sure who said this one first but I can remember my dad always saying this quote. Success is probably 1% luck and 99% hard work so the harder you work the more likely that luck will work in your favor.

4. “smile and wave”-dad & penguins of madagascar

The penguins of Madagascar definitely said this first but it’s another quote my dad loves to use. The basic meaning of “smile and wave” is to ignore your haters, focus on yourself, and keep doing what makes you happy.

5. “if wishes were horses, even beggars would ride”-brother

I am not sure who the original creator of this quote but I heard it first from my older brother. Anytime, I would say “I wish” he would stop me by saying this quote. The basic meaning of this quote is that if everyone could have their own way even beggars would not have to beg. So if you want something, wishing will not help the situation unless you put some action towards what you want.